Written Work
Writing & Poetry
The Tornado Inside of Me
"The Tornado Inside of Me"
I was one man, living two lives, but had only one heart and two eyes. I was torn, ripped by confliction, by the path I want to take and the path of my addiction. And over time these two paths have crossed, leaving one man totally lost. Im no longer sure of who I am or how I've come to be, or if whom I see in the mirror is what other people see. I feel tainted like the stain on a new shirt, because im unclear of my values and uncertain of my worth.
Its like I've been caught in a tornado, and swept off my feet, and I'm flailing my arms trying to grasp anything concrete. Yet everything I grab rips up and starts to spin, becoming debris in the tornado, which is actually my addiction.
The aftermath is gruesome and the casualties are high, because my tornado took everyone by suprise. I stand in shock as I finally see, my destructive path has led to catastrophy. I've severed relationships and broken ties, burned bridges and told so many lies. Now I'm left alone in my tornados wake, left cleaning up the debris of my mistakes.
Scattered remains pepper the ground of a man once happy and proud. All thats left is a gutted frame, of a man once proud, but is now riddled with shame. I dont know what to do or how to proceed with how to build a man out of whats left of me. All I can do is start the process all over, while in the mean time try to remain sober. FEMA cant help me, I need not apply, because my addiction doesnt qualify. I am a man left with knowing the fact, that at any moment my tornado might come back. I never know when my tornado will strike, and that scares me so much, I cant sleep at night.
So batten your shutters and lock your doors, because I just dont want to hurt anybody anymore. The callateral damage has been great, and its just to much for me to take. So I stand alone in a field with no one around, expecting at any moment my tornado might touch down. Because I would hate for you to become debris, within the tornado that dwells inside of me.
-J.Patrick Barber
I was one man, living two lives, but had only one heart and two eyes. I was torn, ripped by confliction, by the path I want to take and the path of my addiction. And over time these two paths have crossed, leaving one man totally lost. Im no longer sure of who I am or how I've come to be, or if whom I see in the mirror is what other people see. I feel tainted like the stain on a new shirt, because im unclear of my values and uncertain of my worth.
Its like I've been caught in a tornado, and swept off my feet, and I'm flailing my arms trying to grasp anything concrete. Yet everything I grab rips up and starts to spin, becoming debris in the tornado, which is actually my addiction.
The aftermath is gruesome and the casualties are high, because my tornado took everyone by suprise. I stand in shock as I finally see, my destructive path has led to catastrophy. I've severed relationships and broken ties, burned bridges and told so many lies. Now I'm left alone in my tornados wake, left cleaning up the debris of my mistakes.
Scattered remains pepper the ground of a man once happy and proud. All thats left is a gutted frame, of a man once proud, but is now riddled with shame. I dont know what to do or how to proceed with how to build a man out of whats left of me. All I can do is start the process all over, while in the mean time try to remain sober. FEMA cant help me, I need not apply, because my addiction doesnt qualify. I am a man left with knowing the fact, that at any moment my tornado might come back. I never know when my tornado will strike, and that scares me so much, I cant sleep at night.
So batten your shutters and lock your doors, because I just dont want to hurt anybody anymore. The callateral damage has been great, and its just to much for me to take. So I stand alone in a field with no one around, expecting at any moment my tornado might touch down. Because I would hate for you to become debris, within the tornado that dwells inside of me.
-J.Patrick Barber